Alright. Due to my lack of a blog, but my burning desire to bitch about assholes who suck, guess what? That’s right, I’m gonna bitch about this here!

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So. About how this sucks. First off, I’d just like to say that Kentucky sucks. Now I’m sure that some awesome people have managed to accidentally be spawned there and managed to escape the crappyness of their birth waters (much as I totally rock, and yet Central Illinois is totally lame). But clearly, the State itself sucks. (I had to drive through the corner of Kentucky once, on a round trip. I was within the state line for less than an hour and a half, and it was two in the morning. It was still one of the most depressing periods of time in my life.)

Aside from the obvious fact that the police are clearly morons, I want to bitch slap this judge personally. So, if you somehow meet him, beat him to the verge of death for me. I mean, this guy, William Poole, he’s my age. He’s in jail for writing zombie literature. Apparently that makes him a terrorist. I’ve written waaaay worse things in my own time. Hell, I’m drawn up plans for how to totally take over the planet in 10 years or less. I have a scene in Pantheon where my two favorite girls (well, two of my four favorite anyway) are shooting up a McDonalds to prove a point. I wrote a short story about a bunch of people hacking into the FBI database and deleting files on people. Hell, I have a scene in mind for something where a bunch of people hunt Allosaurs for sport it doesn’t fucking mean ANYTHING!!!! It’s called “fiction”. Look it up, assholes.

I’m not going to fucking kill dinosaurs (first off dinosaurs rock and secondly they’re already dead), I don’t know how to hack into a fucking computer, and as much as I hate Micky D’s I’m not going to go and kill a bunch of peasants who have been brainwashed into eating their fucking plastic “food”. Just like Mr. Poole (who wins my “Underdog of the Month” Award) wasn’t going to shoot up his zombie filled high school because zombies DON”T FUCKING EXIST!!!! (Note: Technically zombies do actually exist. But it’s a voodoo thing. And Kentucky clearly sucks way toooo much to have voodoo zombies.)

So now that I’ve bitched, here’s what I’m gonna do to actually help (bitching is all well and good, but I don’t really think it will do much to fix things). I’m going to email the mayor of Winchester Kentucky. His address is ddixon@winchesterky.com . If you want to help, you can email him to. But be polite. Because bitching is all well and good, but there’s something to be said for diplomacy.

-Spyder